Stoke City’s X Factor

Oh I do hate the international break! A dull period with only momentary respite in the forms of international qualifiers that seem more early preseason than pinnacle of sporting accomplishment. With all the important insight about Stoke that is already on the blog I decided to have some fun and imagine which Pop stars some of our more prominent squad members would be. So let’s get into it (please excuse the awful photos, I think they’re funny).

Peter Crouch – Serge from Kasabian

Crouch Serge

Both lanky, both big names on the indie rock scene, both with a nack to score an absolute screamer, there’s no way these two aren’t related.

Giannelli Imbula – Frank Ocean

Imbula - Ocean

When on their day both of these two are easily the best that there is, but inconsistency has left their fans confused and disappointed. Often accused of taking too long to release anything.

Marko Arnautovic – Beyonce

Arnie Yonce

Global superstars both of them, with a large helping of diva added in.

Dionatan Texiera – Tupac

J Tex Tupac

Legends in their own right, both are gone but there is numerous reports and sightings to suggest they are still with us.

And now for the main event *insert drumroll and dramatic lighting* the battle of the Boy Bands.

Boyzone – Adam, Given, Whelan, Walters

Stoke Boyzone

The Irish lads are joined by Charlie Adam, a key component to any Stoke City love story.

One Direction – Roberto, Joselu, Moha, Muniesa, Bojan

Stoke 1D

Okay a little bit of cheating here as one member is not and never will be a Stoke player and two more are out on loan. But the story of Joselu leaving for a new challenge mirrors that of Zayn leaving the boy band to pursue a solo career.

So Stokies who have we missed out? Are there any glaring omissions whose resemblance to pop stars in uncanny? Let us know on twitter or in the comments!

Written by Tom Thrower

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